That's MY vroom-vroom!

"I nuh support anybody weh just tek fi we name; and if you go deh you da wa traitor!"

Those were the words of my best friend and old performance poetry co-coordinator when I asked him if he was going to 'Perk Up's Candle Light Poetry Night'.  he was right, of course.  no matter which way I turned it around in my head trying to ameliorate the whole situation, it still ticks in my craw just a little bit.  Sure "Poetry Night" doesn't exactly scream proprietary product; and sure, we'dgone on an indefinite hiatus.  Poetry Night was just sitting there; an all but discared thing, a lonely child just begging to be picked up, brushed off, and taken home.  Jackee Burns picked it up.  As much as I tell myself that this is a good and just and probably all for the best, it still annoys me on some level.

At the same time I pity her for her new burden.  She's decided to make it a weekly thing, the poor dear.  I know from the many times that we just barely made the monthly shows that down that pat lies only heartbreak.  She's also less organized, which means most of the shows involve herself and her friends reading from anthologies and collections by other authors, whom i don't even know if she tries to contact. The first one I went to (yes, i've committed this betrayal before) the audio was horrible, a single hand-held PA system that had obviously been untested in this kind of setting.  There was nothing to focus the attention of the audience and the crowd was obviously more interested in their meals.

This time things werent any better.  The candles around the room were a very nice touch, but it resultd in the performers (Jackee and her sister, mostly, and a shy young lady who sang quite prettily, with her hands in her pockets and her eyes on the floor.)  Standing in a dark corner.  The dominoes game going on at the center table was a fresh annoyance, but there were still old classics like the demonic hiss of the espresso machine mid-lyric.

So what's a guy in my position to do?  I want my show back, and more and more I'm seeing reason and opportunity to do so.  But, these days, my concentration is fractured, in a million places at once.  It would make sense to bring on new members, new coordinators.  But at the same time, the only people I know that have a similar vision of what these shows should be are already working with me.  Does that sound arrogant?  I think it might be.  And I think that might be a problem.  I'd like to bring in other people but there are some directions that i don't want to go.  The cheap, easy route; the way of compromising and easy-roading and second besting, just isn't for me.  And around here the alternative isn't for most other people.

Aside from that, I really don't want to step on anyone's toes.  That might be the result of my notorious non-confrontationalism; my biggest fault.  They've got something going there, in their minds, and I'd rather not be the tantrum throwing brat marching into the room and demanding the toy he'd left haphazardly lying about.  There might be a compromise to be made in here soewhere.  There might be a discussion that I can have, at least, with those involved that will reveal some new, helpful insight for me.

I was never very good at starting discussions.