Help me, Moshe Levi Ben-David. You're our only hope.

In response to: http://www.7newsbelize.com/sstory.php?nid=22147

Aw, c'mon folks.  Give the guy a break!  He's not selling drugs and he's not in the NBA, and we all know those are the only two ways a person can 'make it', right?  Right?  RIGHT?!?!?!?!

I mean, it'd be great if he could make his music right where he is but the truth is there just aren't any recording studios in Belize.  Or Mexico.  Or Guatemala.  Or Central America.  Or the Caribbean.  And there certainly aren't any producers either.  How's he supposed to shyne--I mean shine as a musician if he can't get other people to make music for him?  Wait what?  What'd you just say?  Live music?  Like with instruments and shit?  What are you, crazy?  No, no.  The only hope our cultural ambassador has is to go to the US or Britain.  If you dispute that, then obviously you're not aware of his overall massa-plan.  I mean Master-plan.  I mean...hell, you know what I mean.

It'd be cool if there were some other way though.  If we could somehow transfer his voice onto some sort of medium that could be sent over there and then played back and mixed later.  I imagine it'd be something lightweight, maybe circular.  I hear their doing amazing things with plastics these days.  Yeah, some kind of DISK that's small and COMPACT.  Ohhh, but you know what would be even cooler?  If he could transfer his voice using some kind of electronic code.  We'd keep it simple.  Maybe just a series of ones and zeros.  Hmm.  It'd have to be FREE.  Can't afford anything too expensive.  It'd have to be something LOSSLESS, meaning there'd be little to no degredation of AUDIO quality.  Oh, crap.  I'm stumped.  I don't even know what you'd call that kind of fancy, techno-magical CODEC.  Besides, we all know that its impossible to record an album in absentia.  Just look at that convicted felon who recorded part of his 2004 album while in the Clinton Correctional Facility.  What was that guy's name again?  Oh, its on the tip of my tongue.  Anyway, that thing was horrible, wasn't it?

What?  Four-hundred thousand copies sold?  Number 1 on the US Billboard charts?  Now I KNOW you're crazy!

Yep.  Its a lost cause folks.  Better to divert all our attention to crossing our fingers and toes and hoping the US embassy buys his 'I'm not black, I'm jewish' gambit.  That way he can get back to the real markets.  The only markets that matter.  I mean, they ARE the only markets that matter.  Its not like 387 million South American, 41 million Central American, and 39 million Caribbean consumers iare really gonna do anything for us.  No, no, its time to face facts.  Belizean culture in its entirety (the flag and the namedrop) doesn't have any hope without riding Shyne's coat-tails.  So lets get those coat-tails flapping in the wind again!

What's that, ghost of Andy Palacio?  You think Belizean music and culture can stand up on its own?  Well, I mean sure, if you could do it based on nothing but hard work and actual development of your artistry, then I guess it MIGHT be able to work again.  But you're talking about Belizean-Belizean culture.  We're looking out for the Belizean-American and the Belizean-Europeans.  Y'know, the ones keeping the culture going.  You don't expect us to take all those drums and kriol talk seriously, do you?

Yeah.  I didn't think so.