I only JUST realized why my messenger bag was so light this morning. I didn't have time to worry about it at the time. I didn't have time to pack my laptop before leaving the house this morning, nor did I have time to root around for my cell phone or my wallet. Yeah, its that kind of morning. But just now, when I decided my time would best be used getting out more of 'Against the Light' as everyone's been requesting, I suddenly got a mental flashback of a cold-as-hell saturday morning spent in my mom's bedroom (the one with the TV) and getting up only to take both my journals out of my bag and scattering them on the bed throughout the day.
I also played the harmonica a bit. Only I can't get the blues out of that thing for the life of me.
So now, faithful reader, I'm afraid I'll have to subject you to an unrehearsed completely impromptu blog, complete with interruptions and train of thought derailments. This sentence was an example of both.
I payed for my CUNY applications finally. It feels like a huge accomplishment. Or maybe I should say it SHOULD feel like a huge accomplishment. I have no reason to believe I won't get in there. And school in New York would be...amazing. I'd get to try a thing or two at the Bowery as well, assuming I don't pussy out again. The prospects are exciting. The same goes for Trinidad (because yes, after hearing about a $20 egg and toast breakfast in Barbados, I've settled on Trinidad.) and the Lyric Lounge. I just...can't seem to summon the excitement. Perhaps I won't feel it until it actually happens.
There's also that other fear. What if I never feel it again? What if I've lost my passion and all that I have now is my current dissatisfaction and mere want?
Yeah, I've completely lost the train of thought now. I do know one thing. My love life (And being with the love of my life) hinges on me doing SOMETHING with my talent. And that includes sharpening and keeping it honed. So I'll write. And I'll make a move. And I refuse to get stuck here. That's enough of a passion, I think.
The strong give up and move away.
The weak give up and stay.
I also played the harmonica a bit. Only I can't get the blues out of that thing for the life of me.
So now, faithful reader, I'm afraid I'll have to subject you to an unrehearsed completely impromptu blog, complete with interruptions and train of thought derailments. This sentence was an example of both.
I payed for my CUNY applications finally. It feels like a huge accomplishment. Or maybe I should say it SHOULD feel like a huge accomplishment. I have no reason to believe I won't get in there. And school in New York would be...amazing. I'd get to try a thing or two at the Bowery as well, assuming I don't pussy out again. The prospects are exciting. The same goes for Trinidad (because yes, after hearing about a $20 egg and toast breakfast in Barbados, I've settled on Trinidad.) and the Lyric Lounge. I just...can't seem to summon the excitement. Perhaps I won't feel it until it actually happens.
There's also that other fear. What if I never feel it again? What if I've lost my passion and all that I have now is my current dissatisfaction and mere want?
Yeah, I've completely lost the train of thought now. I do know one thing. My love life (And being with the love of my life) hinges on me doing SOMETHING with my talent. And that includes sharpening and keeping it honed. So I'll write. And I'll make a move. And I refuse to get stuck here. That's enough of a passion, I think.
The strong give up and move away.
The weak give up and stay.
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