What's happening

As I type this I'm riding the last of a high. It's been a crappy day without music, and up until half an hour ago I was afraid my ipod might have been lost for good. Luckily it was just under a pile of papers somewhere. As important as that is, its not what's really important right now. What's REALLY important is this: Things are happening.

My university Transcripts should have been ready by today. I say 'should have' not because I don't have faith in the University's records office (Wait...what?) but because I didn't go and check on them or pick them up today like I should have. Instead I got suckered into an uncomfortable free lunch with my coworkers, who bitched, bickered, and complained about everything from the weather (because it wasn't sunny, but it wasn't raining either. How annoying!) to the service. Like most things lately I have only myself to blame for that misfortune.

And after that continued I had to put up with calls of 'This internet is slow!' or 'I can't open yahoo, there's something wrong with our internet.' I get so tired of repeating 'It's probably not a problem with us, its probably a problem with yahoo.' and absolutely failing to convince my boss that two PCs with 'Slow internet' does not a network problem make. So tired that I don't even try anymore, and am simply oppressed by the weight and frustration of all the other times I've said it.

But again, I digress.

What's really important is, after resigning to stay back until I could figure out why my boss had 'slow internet' I was sort of forced not to. My buddy came and picked me up from work. Someone actually came looking for ME! It was Manza, for whom, as I later explained to him, I've had a bit of jealous enmity towards these past few...months. To a certain extent he has the life I want. He's officially a land owner. He has a job he loves, and a great relationship with his boss, and he's not afraid to spend money on himself for his own enjoyment. I want that so bad, and everytime he says he's going to drop by and doesn't, I imagine him in front of his widescreen TV, perfect for playing his XBOX 360, and thinking 'Meh...I'll go talk to Dre some other day'. And that's when I hate him a little more.

This time he did come around though. He heard the angst and frustration in my voice over the phone and simply said "I'm coming to pick you up." We went to Perk Up. We had pancakes. We made business plans. Real plans. Of all the things I've been truly proud of in the past year or two, Poetry Night is firmly inserted in the top five. Hell, the top three. The only reason its not number one is because I gave it away so freely. I disrespected my own creation (co-creation) by not attributing a value to it. And in doing so, I failed to see the propper scope of the thing. I think I'm ready to try again, and I won't be making that mistake again.

Things are happening. And it feels good. Maybe too good, compared to my current employment situation. I think I'd rather have rough days doing something I love, than having rough days in a work environment that begins to depress me the moment I open my eyes in the morning.

And that's another thing. If I really want change, like the purpose of this blog suggests, then I have to change my thinking first. No more of this "Wanna be writer, Obligated IT tech' shit. I have to start thinking of myself as a writer first.

I am a writer.
I am a writer.
I am a writer.
I am a writer.
This is my new mantra.