Everyday I can feel the gap between myself and what was once my contemporaries growing wider, and wider, and wider. Some of it I don't quite mind. Some if it is based on a different level of values and morals. I won't be talking about the high priced modifications made on my high priced car anytime soon. I was never the guy to laugh and quip and say 'Who, her? I fucked her last week!' I don't really want to go through a list of 'remember that time's. I've done that too many times already, and the only thing it does is make even more clear the bitter fact that the good ol' days are never coming back. And speaking of the good ol' days, I think the teenage under-aged drinking year saw me using up all my 'Get drunk and weep' encounters, and should have done the same for you. Seeing my friends get drunk and lament tearfully now is just a good way to ruin a night, and for whatever reason I hold my liquor better than all of them now.
That is not a challenge. Those days, too, are long gone.
But there are certain things that I miss. It's a little strange but I miss being 'The New Guy'. There's a certain fascination that surrounds The New Guy. He's different, a little alien, but somehow manages to be cool. And I'm not saying that I need to be cool. I'm twenty-six years old, I've already discovered how to concentrate my cool into physical form, like my mojo.
That is not a challenge. Those days, too, are long gone.
But there are certain things that I miss. It's a little strange but I miss being 'The New Guy'. There's a certain fascination that surrounds The New Guy. He's different, a little alien, but somehow manages to be cool. And I'm not saying that I need to be cool. I'm twenty-six years old, I've already discovered how to concentrate my cool into physical form, like my mojo.
What I DO miss is that certain level of open minded-ness posessed by those who witness The New Guy's strange brand of cool. To do away with the confusing allegory and get right to the heart of it: There's some shit that I want to share with you, but you're just too damn resistant. And I guess that's just a part of growing up. You know who you are and you are resolute in it. There's no space in you for new ideas unless its from self discovery. Otherwise you're still that kid saying 'Me too' after the crowd has already agreed. I understand. I really do. But I miss that. More than anything else, I miss that.
Here's an example. Once upon a time we swam in each other's musical eclecticism to the point that we'd put our conjoined names on mix tapes and CDs. I dn't think I'd have discovered Portishead or; being an east coast fanatic; delved so deeply into West Coast Rap if it weren't for you. Likewise, If it weren't for me, you might all still be listening to nothing BUT west coast rap. And we'd do this by just hanging out, just relaxing in each other's presence, letting down our defenses, and letting vibes just flow, with music in the background. Why don't we do that anymore? I'll tell you why, because you are resolute. And there's some stuff I really want to open your mind to, man. We're not eighteen anymore. Its okay to listen to music that isn't angry or depressing. You don't have to hate Lupe Fisaco or Talib Kwali. Mos Def is STILL cool! You can even listen to music that doesn't refer to sex as an act of violence. It won't make you a pussy, I promise! In fact, it'll probably be to your benefit. The fact that you're above the age of thirteen and still have to think of your penis as a weapon, and still think of sex as assault. is another reason why we don't hang out anymore.
Further to the point, we are in the Caribbean. Rap, rock, and R&B are fine, but that's not really us. Its okay to listen to Soca and Calypso. Listening to it doesn't mean your gay. And if you're still unsure there are some guys from germany that'll blow your mind.
Music is just one part of why we don't hang out anymore. The rest of the list is endless. Well, that's not true. The rest of the list mostly goes:
Here's an example. Once upon a time we swam in each other's musical eclecticism to the point that we'd put our conjoined names on mix tapes and CDs. I dn't think I'd have discovered Portishead or; being an east coast fanatic; delved so deeply into West Coast Rap if it weren't for you. Likewise, If it weren't for me, you might all still be listening to nothing BUT west coast rap. And we'd do this by just hanging out, just relaxing in each other's presence, letting down our defenses, and letting vibes just flow, with music in the background. Why don't we do that anymore? I'll tell you why, because you are resolute. And there's some stuff I really want to open your mind to, man. We're not eighteen anymore. Its okay to listen to music that isn't angry or depressing. You don't have to hate Lupe Fisaco or Talib Kwali. Mos Def is STILL cool! You can even listen to music that doesn't refer to sex as an act of violence. It won't make you a pussy, I promise! In fact, it'll probably be to your benefit. The fact that you're above the age of thirteen and still have to think of your penis as a weapon, and still think of sex as assault. is another reason why we don't hang out anymore.
Further to the point, we are in the Caribbean. Rap, rock, and R&B are fine, but that's not really us. Its okay to listen to Soca and Calypso. Listening to it doesn't mean your gay. And if you're still unsure there are some guys from germany that'll blow your mind.
Music is just one part of why we don't hang out anymore. The rest of the list is endless. Well, that's not true. The rest of the list mostly goes:
- Your girlfriend is always around. Plus, I think she's flirting with me.
- I think you're trying to kill me.
- You beat women now. You probably did then, but I know you do now.
- You only want to hang out when YOU want to hang out.
- You never want to hang out when I want to hang out.
- You expect me to be your yes-man.
- I only like you when you're drunk.
- I really don't like you when you're drunk.
- I never really liked you.
- You're always drunk.
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